More Love Equals Less Hate

Have you ever give advise to a family or to a friend? Have you ever have to apply the same advice to you?  The other day I was talking with a man that has been divorce for 10 years. He told me his story, how happy he was with his wife for around 15 years, and she suddenly decide that she did not want to stay with him anymore. As he was talking, I could sense a feeling that he really would like to get back with his wife but his pride and hurting feelings don’t let him, even when she ask him get back together.

I ask him, why you just doesn’t go back with your ex-wife? He said, for what? My kids are already older and they don’t live in the house anymore. I said, so? You knew that when you kids grow they would leave the nest! You don’t get married for kids; you get married because you love someone with kids or without them. He tells me that he still love her. Then I said, why you don’t forgive her if you love her? He didn’t response, and them he said, why you don’t go back with your ex? I tell him, I cannot go back with him, it is not the same situation, took me long time to get to this point where I am right now in life, but I forgive him.

Between that conversation and all the replies that we are been writing about forgiveness make me reflect. The first thing is that forgiveness is equal to love. When we forgive someone that hurt us we take away space for hate in our hearts. Love is not equal to let other people hurt us over and over again. Yes, I can forgive who hurt me, but as I love other people when I forgive them, I also, love my self to prevent they keep hurting me. The tricky part in here is that sometimes and only sometimes we have to risk our heart to find what we are looking.  “el que no arriesga no gana” (who dare, wins) that is an expression in Spanish.  Bad experiences in life are not only to make us surfer, but also teach us for future references, but we have to be careful not close our hearts for when a good opportunity comes around we can’t recognize it.

Romans 12:17-21

 ¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;  if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Big Hug,

MRM