Who I am?

I wonder how many of you know your-self. Not only think about superficial things, but inner things, like the way you feel, the way you think, the certain way that you do things. What things you like, what things you dislike. Do you recognize when you are sad or happy or melancholic? Do you know why you feel that way? Do you know when you are truly sick or when you just feeling sick. Do you recognize when you are mad? Do you know what are your hobbies, your strengths and weakness? Do you really know your-self?

As weeks pass, I have been trying to define who I am and all above questions. It is not an easy task, because you do not know your-self in one hour not even in one week. That takes time and dedication. We are living in a fast-forward word, where we truly do not have time to think about us, to know us. That makes me think if I do not make time to know myself, to recognize who I am and the way I react to certain situations, if I do not have time to know what I like or why I feel sad or anxious, how in the world I can know who is Jesus? How I can recognize when He talks to me? How I can spread His word how He wants us to do? 

I think the more I know myself, the closer I get to God, the more I know Him. He create me, He knows me better than even what I know about me. I think it is good idea to start knowing myself, recognizing my feelings, my like and dislike things. How that is possible? For example one thing that I know about me is that if am late to go to work or to go anyplace, I get anxious and drive really fast and by default always found a slower driver in front of me that take my anxiety levels to the max. Knowing this about myself, I start taking to God help me to not delay myself to get out of the house, and if I am already late ask Him for patient when I am driving (I am guessing this is when the slow driver appear in front of me). If I am feeling like sick, headaches, and things like felling really sick, I start praying to God to help me through the sickness. When I feel the stress from school I talk to God to help me through the homework and tests. 

Knowing yourself helps you to fix things ahead of time, to accept things without major issues, but most important help you to get closer to God, help you to know God better, Help you to recognize Him when He talks to you. Most of my mornings when I am driving to go catch my bus, I kind that always get there like one minute before the bus departure. Many times, I am driving taking and praying to God to hold the bus one second until I get there and don’t let the red lights stop me. The 95% of the time, somehow I always get on the bus even when I know is impossible to get in.

Psalm 145:18-20

18 The Lord is close to everyone who calls out to him, to all who call out to him sincerely.

19 God shows favor to those who honor him, listening to their cries for help and saving them.

20 The Lord protects all who love him, but he destroys every wicked person.

Big Hug,

MRM

Habakkuk

 In the last couple of weeks, I have been dealing with mixing feelings with God. I keep wondering how some people that do not deserve certain benefits and “happiness” in life, God provides them those things? Many things come to my mind like, I should not be judgmental or who I am to decide or tell who deserve or not deserve things or why I care about what other people lives?  Then I calm myself and try to not think about it, but it is really hard not get mad at life and God. 

After couple of weeks that I do not take my bible to read something or anything, last night, I decide to take the bible and open any page on it and read anything. It opens in the first page of the Habakkuk book. To be honest and is kind a shame of me… I really do not remember heard about this book before, so I read the small introduction of this book. The introduction explains that the book is about the dialogue between the prophet Habakkuk and God. Habakkuk was irritated with God’s “inaction” in the world. He wanted to see God do something more, particularly in the area of justice for evildoers. The book of Habakkuk guided his frustration into prayers and eventually praise to God, rather than trying to run from the Lord as Jonah did.

After reading the introduction I just laugh and say in my mind to God, “you really like to talk to me very clearly when You want!” I read the first two chapters before falling asleep. This morning I feel relax and happy, God spoke to me in a clear way for me to understand. I know it is hard sometimes to understand God’s will, but we need to just focus on our mission in this life not spend time and effort looking other people lives, material things, the way they do or not do things, and not comparing their lives with ours. 

Habakkuk 2:2-5

² Then the Lord answered me and said, write a vision, and make it plain upon a tablet
so that a runner can read it. ³There is still a vision for the appointed time; it testifies to the end;
it does not deceive. If it delays, wait for it; for it is surely coming; it will not be late. ⁴ Some people’s desires are truly audacious; they don’t do the right thing. But the righteous person will live honestly. ⁵ Moreover, wine betrays an arrogant man. He doesn’t rest. He opens his jaws like the grave; like death, he is never satisfied. He gathers all nations to himself and collects all peoples for himself.

Big Hug,
MRM