Have you ever have been going through hard times, and your instinct make you react, and just do things without taking the time, to think, and understand what is going on in your life? Well, I guess that is happening to me right now. The last two days I have been thinking in what I have been doing in the last 17 month since my separation/divorce. That make me realize things that I didn’t want to think about, and bring memories that I didn’t want to remember. The other day backpacking one of the guys ask me what is my turning point that is making me do so much changes in my life. I did not know what to say, I simply say because I just want to do it.
Today I think for the first time I was mad at God and to myself, but one of my qualities (I guess) is that I can’t be mad at someone for too long, I will probably don’t talk to you, but I can keep be mad all the time. So am not mad at God anymore, I’m just trying to understand, and I’m giving to me the reasons of why things end this way.
I truly love the life that I am having right now. I have been doing so much, learning, and growing spiritually in the past 17 months more than what I did in the last 12 years. That is only one of the good reasons of why I can’t be mad at God anymore. I know I still have a lot to learn and keep growing (spiritually, I think I can’t go taller than what I’m now!) but sometimes the doubt and the uncertainty kills me. Everything goes back to the beginning…
Psalm 46:8-10
on the earth. 9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and
shatters the spear; he burns the shields[a] with fire. 10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the
nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Ok God, I will really try to be still, but create me and You know that is really hard to me be still, but I trust you, and I know you are my God, so I will do my best to be still and keep trusting in You!
Big Hug,
MRM
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