Who I am?

I wonder how many of you know your-self. Not only think about superficial things, but inner things, like the way you feel, the way you think, the certain way that you do things. What things you like, what things you dislike. Do you recognize when you are sad or happy or melancholic? Do you know why you feel that way? Do you know when you are truly sick or when you just feeling sick. Do you recognize when you are mad? Do you know what are your hobbies, your strengths and weakness? Do you really know your-self?

As weeks pass, I have been trying to define who I am and all above questions. It is not an easy task, because you do not know your-self in one hour not even in one week. That takes time and dedication. We are living in a fast-forward word, where we truly do not have time to think about us, to know us. That makes me think if I do not make time to know myself, to recognize who I am and the way I react to certain situations, if I do not have time to know what I like or why I feel sad or anxious, how in the world I can know who is Jesus? How I can recognize when He talks to me? How I can spread His word how He wants us to do? 

I think the more I know myself, the closer I get to God, the more I know Him. He create me, He knows me better than even what I know about me. I think it is good idea to start knowing myself, recognizing my feelings, my like and dislike things. How that is possible? For example one thing that I know about me is that if am late to go to work or to go anyplace, I get anxious and drive really fast and by default always found a slower driver in front of me that take my anxiety levels to the max. Knowing this about myself, I start taking to God help me to not delay myself to get out of the house, and if I am already late ask Him for patient when I am driving (I am guessing this is when the slow driver appear in front of me). If I am feeling like sick, headaches, and things like felling really sick, I start praying to God to help me through the sickness. When I feel the stress from school I talk to God to help me through the homework and tests. 

Knowing yourself helps you to fix things ahead of time, to accept things without major issues, but most important help you to get closer to God, help you to know God better, Help you to recognize Him when He talks to you. Most of my mornings when I am driving to go catch my bus, I kind that always get there like one minute before the bus departure. Many times, I am driving taking and praying to God to hold the bus one second until I get there and don’t let the red lights stop me. The 95% of the time, somehow I always get on the bus even when I know is impossible to get in.

Psalm 145:18-20

18 The Lord is close to everyone who calls out to him, to all who call out to him sincerely.

19 God shows favor to those who honor him, listening to their cries for help and saving them.

20 The Lord protects all who love him, but he destroys every wicked person.

Big Hug,

MRM

Habakkuk

 In the last couple of weeks, I have been dealing with mixing feelings with God. I keep wondering how some people that do not deserve certain benefits and “happiness” in life, God provides them those things? Many things come to my mind like, I should not be judgmental or who I am to decide or tell who deserve or not deserve things or why I care about what other people lives?  Then I calm myself and try to not think about it, but it is really hard not get mad at life and God. 

After couple of weeks that I do not take my bible to read something or anything, last night, I decide to take the bible and open any page on it and read anything. It opens in the first page of the Habakkuk book. To be honest and is kind a shame of me… I really do not remember heard about this book before, so I read the small introduction of this book. The introduction explains that the book is about the dialogue between the prophet Habakkuk and God. Habakkuk was irritated with God’s “inaction” in the world. He wanted to see God do something more, particularly in the area of justice for evildoers. The book of Habakkuk guided his frustration into prayers and eventually praise to God, rather than trying to run from the Lord as Jonah did.

After reading the introduction I just laugh and say in my mind to God, “you really like to talk to me very clearly when You want!” I read the first two chapters before falling asleep. This morning I feel relax and happy, God spoke to me in a clear way for me to understand. I know it is hard sometimes to understand God’s will, but we need to just focus on our mission in this life not spend time and effort looking other people lives, material things, the way they do or not do things, and not comparing their lives with ours. 

Habakkuk 2:2-5

² Then the Lord answered me and said, write a vision, and make it plain upon a tablet
so that a runner can read it. ³There is still a vision for the appointed time; it testifies to the end;
it does not deceive. If it delays, wait for it; for it is surely coming; it will not be late. ⁴ Some people’s desires are truly audacious; they don’t do the right thing. But the righteous person will live honestly. ⁵ Moreover, wine betrays an arrogant man. He doesn’t rest. He opens his jaws like the grave; like death, he is never satisfied. He gathers all nations to himself and collects all peoples for himself.

Big Hug,
MRM

Attribulations

Taking one of my classes for college my teacher share with us a passage from Luke that talks about how we reach Jesus in darkness time when we are in trouble. It is amazing how God talks to us, the same subject but in a way that uniquely each of us can understand. In the recent week I have been struggling with the father of my kids, with school, love life, and other thoughts that comes to my mind and kind off make me feel sad. In moments like those one that for me are dark times, I wonder where is God in the picture.

God is everywhere I go. How I now it? When I am running late to catch my bus and even when I know the bus must already leave, when I arrive the bus still there for some bizarre reason, when I am driving tired and just want to get home and all the traffic lights are green so I don’t have to stop, when I feel lonely and receive flowers from a truly good friend, when my oldest son sleeps with me at night even that he is a teenager and a “man” who does not sleep with his mom, when my youngest son prefers drink water instead of soda just to be able to eat next to me, and on and on. Little things that happened to us everyday remained us that we are not alone and God is helping us out.

My teacher mentions something that strike me, “this is your hour not your era or decade or year” meaning this darkness will pass too. Mean while as we all know we are never alone in some mysterious or obvious ways God let us know that He is with us helping us to carry our crosses. In darkness time is when our trust and faith comes handy, I think will be a good idea check them often.

James 1:2-5

² Count it all joy, my brethren, when ye fall into manifold temptations;

³ Knowing that the proving of your faith worketh patience. ⁴ And let patience have its perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, lacking in nothing. ⁵ But if any of you lacketh wisdom, let him ask of God, who giveth to all liberally and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

Big Hug,
MRM 

Pinky Day

Today, a regular day like every other one. Nah! is not true, it is a special day, because you do not see everyday so many hearts balloons, flowers, chocolates, and a lot of people wearing red or pink cloths. Officially, it is a special day. This morning, when I was getting ready to go to work the first thing that comes to my mind was dress black, because I don’t have a couple to share this day, but then I rethink that thought, really? that is the attitude that I am going take this morning? I have my kids who I adore and love with all my heart with whom I can share this “special” day, I have a wonderful family that I can count with to share this special day and other days, I have plenty of really good friends to share and say Happy Valentines day, and the most important thing, I have a God who loves me everyday of the year 24/7, He do not wait for a February 14 to tell and show me how much He loves me and care about me.

So, I change my mind, I feel much better and decide to wear pink today, do my hair, and make sure be happy all day. Have a bunch of chocolates that already start giving away to my bus driver who was really surprise, to the trolley driver who scream and say, “thanks my first chocolate of the day!” and to my coworker that love chocolates, that is something!

Happy Valentine’s Days! a day of love and friendship.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

⁹ Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.

Big Hug,

MRM

Teachers

Yesterday, I have to take my son to the allergy doctor to figure out why he got so bad hives and swelling in his body out of the blue. Conclusion, that is normal and some people suffer of that. He just an antihistamine when that happen and that’s it! Well that is a relief. After the doctors visit, my son ask me to stay with him to have lunch. That is so sweet of him that he still wants to have lunch with his mom at school. I make some time and stay with him for lunch.

When entering to the school, I notice something different the doors where locked and I have to wait for the receptionist to open the door. As I enter I give all my information, went to my son’s classroom since he stay with my phone accidentally. When opening the door of his classroom the two teachers opened her eyes wide and then recognize me with a relief look. My son was in another classroom. So, I walk to the other classroom and I did not have the opportunity to meet this teacher before, so when I look at the door she stands up quickly and comes to me. I introduce myself and again, I got the relief look.

Since I have to wait one hour to lunch with my son, I have time to stay at the library and then wait at the lunchroom. Come to my mind how we as parents sometimes get for granted our kids teacher and school staff. As I wait in the lunchroom, I can see teachers dealing with kids to behave, make sure they eat, and keep control of lines all the time. I can see how they manage to have patience with more trouble kids. In some of them see love in their eyes for the work they were doing and also see some faces of tiredness.

Since the tragedy in Connecticut elementary school, I have been hearing a law that will allow one staff of each school carry a gun at school. I don’t think that is a good idea, because nobody is exempt of having a bad day, a mental crisis or loose his or her mind. I don’t think violence cure violence. I believe good moral values, positive incentive, and more support for teacher from parents and government can cure violence, but that is just my opinion.

One of the names that Jesus had was “teacher.” I have to say that I am very glad for the service that the teacher gives to our kids. I recognize, that they need to receive more incentive, better salaries, have more recognition of their work and more support from parents and government. Think, at the end of the day, who is the person that spend more time with our kids in a year calendar? What is the profession that we can call the beginning of learning? Nobody can have a profession without going though a school. I know that there are bad teacher that enter to the field of teaching for the wrong reason, but they are only few compared with the ones that everyday of the week are with our kids trying to teach not only math or science, they teach them good manners and values too.

James 3:1-2

3 Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. ² We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.

Big Hug,
MRM